2019 Summer in Review

What a summer this 2019 summer was. This was the first summer in a long time where I didn't have a full-time job to maintain--which strangely made it one of my busiest summers of all time. Why? Because I didn't spend my time getting too tired to have fun by working 40 hours a week, but was still getting paid--which meant I could do anything. As you can imagine, being able to do anything for me can be pretty wild if not dangerous.

In the 40 days between June 13th and July 22nd, I only slept in my own bed four times. Sounds fun, right? But by the time I finally made it home from all my traveling and settled back into life after those 40 days, I found myself with just 2 weeks of summer vacation left before my job started back up at school. Suffice it to say I won't be doing that much traveling again next year. I think.

May

The summer started the way it always does--my group of friends getting together in mid May during the basketball playoffs to write down our summer goals. But this time, it started out with Grillin' and Chillin' and concrete smashin'.

Me trynna act like I know how to swing a sledgehammer (May 4th 2019)

As for the goals I wrote that day, you can find them here. In review, I did most of them (16 of 25) despite being out of town for literally about half the summer. Honestly, I had a lot of work intensive, long-term goals this year. When I was actually home, I made a lot of progress with writing, getting in shape, and learning guitar--but I didn't PR my 5k time and I wasn't home enough to say I did guitar and writing 5 days a week. I aced an exam, ran through a lot of video games, re-studied my least favorite branch of mathematics, and did an ill-advised 45 mile bike ride with my mutually unprepared friends.

But my first goal? "Run that race today." Or in more descriptive words, "run that half marathon on a whim that Matt and Katie were running that day as we were writing goals." Well I ran it with them and all things considered, I'd say it went pretty well. We finished somewhere around 2 hours and 13 minutes--though really I was just jogging alongside them the entire way and didn't want to mess up their pacing, so time wasn't really part of my goal at all. Not that in all my (non) preparation I coulda ran it much faster anyways, if at all.

May the Fourth half marathon with the Matt and Katie in Farmington, which was technically my first half marathon race. I didn't actually sign up, but I did get a medal that I'd eventually realize glows in the dark four months later (May 4th 2019)

But as soon as school actually got out on May 24th, it was almost strictly business. I left out of town less than 24 hours later on a trip to LA to see Lindsey for our shortest trip of the summer together (4ish days). This trip was certainly the least action-packed of all our trips (more on all those other trips with her later), though one of the highlights was definitely the man date I got to go on with John Luna, eating at both Bludso's BBQ and Pink's hot dogs, buying a date soundtrack at Amoeba, and having discussions about funk and soul music and whether or not it's okay to be a fan of Donald Trump as an actor/TV personality.

June

My first day of summer not in LA, cross country practice started and I ran my first 5k time of the summer at 23:57 (55 seconds off my PR set in 2010). By mid-June, Jesse was hosting his annual 24-hour gaming party charity event, at which I spent 15 hours playing Spyro, speedran Minecraft with Kyle, beat a few other games, and ate the least healthy food I could get my hands on.

Next up was the 45 mile bike ride summer goal Matt, Kevin, Katie, and I made to bike the entire Jordan River Parkway trail. The trail follows the Jordan River from Utah Lake up to the Great Salt Lake and, all stops considered, took us about 8 hours of beautiful scenery and painful riding (our butts weren't ready for all day on a bike saddle).

Biking the entire Jordan River Parkway Trail--the conclusion of 45-miles of sun, guzzling water, and the 8 hours of sitting on a bike seat that none of us were really ready for (June 3rd, 2019)

Besides playing a lot of disc golf and participating in Dakota's summer-long tournament (I got second because I actually showed up every time), the next big summer experience for me was leaving the country for the first time. I flew up to Edmonton, CA for the Solsnitch fantasy quidditch tournament and had hella fun. My team was not good. But I felt like I played fine and got to experience a unique camping tournament with people from another country where the sun goes down at 10 PM and comes up at 4 AM when it's the summer solstice. And I got to experience customs, I guess? I also got to bike around and explore the city of Edmonton, and even took the time to sit in on a legislative session for the province of Alberta where they were discussing education bills.

In the middle of my 40 days of almost never being home, I took the one full day of me being in town to destroy the math content PRAXIS without any preparation and after a day of international travel, staying up almost the entire night hanging out and playing video games. Because it's actually a pretty important test for my career, I was actually pretty stressed about taking it, despite my careless attitude. So I'm thankful it was easier than I thought it would be and that the actual exam went well (quick numbers: I needed a 165 to pass, the average score is 160--ended up with a 190 out of 200). Before the end of summer, this would lead me to finally get my official teaching license.

Literally the next day, I flew out to Los Angeles/Hollywood to see Lindsey some more and hang out with my Lost Boys fam. We went to stand up comedy shows, saw an especially remarkable production of Les Mis at Pantages, went out to see several movies, ate a lot of food, John and I went to Disney (which was actually low-key the best time I've ever had at Disneyland), and we all played in the Funky Fiesta fantasy tournament.

"Three dudes hanging out"
John Luna, Nick Offerman, and I sitting in the parking lot before he performs at John's comedy show (June 2019)

As far as the tournament, I was actually pretty stoked my team made the finals and performed pretty well (after a slow start) because on paper we were supposed to be pretty good. We ended up with second place, but also I managed to somehow win my first ever tournament MVP in my many years of playing quidditch. So that was really neat.

Me with the Spartans at Funky Fiesta, complete with the MVP tiara and our second place trophy (June 29, 2019)

July

After finally getting home from my two week Hollywood excursion, Dakota and his girlfriend had invited me on a trip to the Grand Canyon and to see her family in Chino Hills, CA with their friend Stephanie. The four of us drove through the night to see the sunrise at the Grand Canyon, which I surprisingly hadn't even been to at all before.

Grand Canyon Sunrise feat. my hair being too long and the squad (July 4th 2019)

We spent the 4th driving from the grand canyon to Chino Hills, taking naps, going to a family BBQ, and going to Huntington Beach for a firework show over the ocean. Probably the highlight of the trip was Dakota and I breaking from the group to go see Leon Bridges perform at the Hollywood Bowl (which included us experiencing a real live earthquake at the bowl) and eating, as Dakota put it, some good, good BBQ.

"Tetherball is too easy"
Dakota and I playing feet-only tetherball at some gas station somewhere on the way from the Grand Canyon to California (July 4th, 2019)

We made it home after the long weekend, which meant I had about two days to rest, have my car break down and try unsuccessfully to get it fixed before leaving, and pack my things to head back to Canada--but this time, to Prince Edward Island off the east coast of Canada.

To fly to Canada in relative comfort and in good company, I first flew to Lindsey in LA for a few days before the long cross country flight so we could sit together. After some flight cancellations and flying all night and most of a day, we landed and Clay and Nancy picked us up at the tiny Charlottetown Airport. In all honesty, even though the idea of traveling with someone else's family you don't know--in addition to it being the family of someone whom you're not even necessarily dating--sounds like kind of an intimidating idea, I loved it. I felt like I got along pretty great with the family (though the one relationship I regret not developing more was with the family dog, Mr. Bean, who's literally perfect). But although there was so much to see on the island, and even though the island culture was so far from anything I'd ever seen before, and even though I had a lot of "firsts" I experienced on the trip, I think my favorite part of the island was honestly getting to know Nancy and Clay and experiencing firsthand a family dynamic I knew little to nothing about going in. New places are always cool, but to me, the majority of the joy of traveling has to do with the interesting people you're with and the new ones you meet along the way. Although their family is so different than my own in a lot of ways, I really enjoyed just spending time with them.

Tucker, AKA Mr. Bean--the world's first perfect being (photo by Lindsey, stolen from Instagram)

Upon arriving, I was basically given the lowdown on life on the island and was bombarded (not in a bad way) with coupon books and travel brochures and lists of things to do. They had me make my own island bucket list to accomplish before I had to leave, which consisted of:

-Seeing the bottle house (small houses, buildings, and a church made out of glass bottles)
-Seeing the confederation bridge
-Doing a ropes course
-Kayaking
-Golfing (my first ever round of golf)
-Lobster dinners(also a first)
-Seeing Anne of Green Gables in Charlottetown (the musical is set on PEI, fyi), as well as seeing the Anne of Green Gables museum
-Seeing the red rock beaches
-Going to a potato farm (okay, this wasn't on my list, but visiting the red dirt farm and digging up potatoes was low-key one of my favorite parts of the trip)

Lindsey and I on the ropes course on PEI (July 2019)

We also visited a lot of shops and in the evening we watched a few seasons of Animal Kingdom (family crime drama) with Nancy and Clay. Honestly, the whole island experience was literally like I had teleported to a new existence to experience some new thing I'll probably never see again, stay and live there with a new family for a couple of weeks, and then have it all end abruptly and be transported back to reality by an early morning airplane ride--just like that. If I had to pick one highlight from the summer, I think my experience with the family on PEI would be the clearcut favorite.

August

July ended and August began with a pair of great concerts. First was a Streetlight Manifesto show, and second was a co-headling Reel Big Fish and Bowling For Soup show. I won't go into detail on the shows, seeing as this isn't a concert review blog and I've seen all three bands multiple times before, but they were each great shows to see with friends. Since age 16 or so, good summer memories have often revolved around amazing concert experiences.

By the time my summer traveling and the concerts were over, I had less than a week before professional development started back up at school. I was back to running with the cross country team every day, but I had one more weekend trip to Moab with Lindsey between professional development and the first day of school. While she was here, we made it all the way down to arches national park, managed the Delicate Arch hike in the morning before the heat of the day set in, and went to the opening night of the Book of Mormon musical downtown in Salt Lake.

Lindsey and I at the delicate arch--and yes, we got a little bit closer to it than that (August 11th 2019)

And just like that, the summer was over as I dropped Lindsey off at the airport in the morning of my first day back at school. But besides school and cross country meets starting as early as August 14th (truly a sin), my friend group did have one more summer memory to make up at Pat's cabin in Driggs, ID. In our 14 years of friendship, it was the first time Dakota made it to the cabin trips and I was also stoked Jesse and Jared came with us as well. The five of us lit fires, played Grand Traghee disc golf, saw mouse house, watched Dakota eat the entire stack of pancakes at Big Hole (which had apparently never been done before), went to Lava Hot Springs, and were just generally rambunctious in our 36 hours there. Stay tuned--there should be a travel video coming soon.

The Boys feat. Dakota in digital print (August 25 2019)

In the end, this summer I went a lot of places and did a lot of things for the first time--probably moreso than any summer in memory and definitely more than I expected going in. I spent time with people I care about and worked on my own personal growth and goals. Everything might not have worked out perfectly, I didn't complete all my goals, and there's never enough days in summer like there's never enough hours in a day. There's also certainly some other beautiful moments and memories I missed, and probably some that I've already forgotten. But to me, summer is the reoccurring holy time of our lives for being outside, exploring, improving, experiencing, and loving. It's for remembering what it's like to be a kid with endless potential. Even though it sounds cliché, if I had it over again, I wouldn't go back and spend my summer any other way--which is legitimately nice to be able to say.

My 2019 Summer Goals

1. Finish that half marathon today ✓
2. PR my 5k Time ❏
3. Leave the Country ✓
4. See the Grand Canyon ✓
5. Weigh less than 200 pounds ❏
6. Build a Minecraft mountain mansion with Dakota ✓
7. Beat the Spyro Reignited trilogy ✓
8. Bungee jump ❏
9. King's Peak ❏
10. Visit a new state ❏
11. Bike the entire Jordan River Parkway trail ✓
12. Quit Soda ❏
13. Finish one of last year's unfinished goals ✓
14. Write 5 days a week ❏
15. Play guitar 5 days a week ❏
16. Go on a date ✓
17. Beat a new video game ✓
18. Play video games for 24 straight hours ✓
19. Get into Clash of Clans (disclaimer: one of my students wrote this on my goals poster) ✓
20. Do some Grillin' and Chillin' ✓
21. Pass the Praxis ✓
22. Eat at 10 new restaurants ✓
23. Play Streetball ✓
24. Go to the dentist and the doctor ❏
25.  Study analysis ✓

(Completed 16 of 25)

The Soundtrack to my Summer (2019) (Part 1 of 2)

I've had some sort of soundtrack to my summers every year since probably 2005. Music plays an important part of my summers, whether it comes in the form of burning mixtape CDs or just bumping to the same Aquabats or Bowling For Soup album on repeat all summer on the DI-bought stereo (I have much more need for musical diversity these days). But since 2015, I've been officially documenting my summer playlists on Spotify, usually created at the end of the summer as a kind of retrospective answer to the questions "what did I listen to this summer, what music did I discover, which songs are now associated with specific summer memories, and which songs became newly important to me this summer?"

"No Sugar Tonight" by The Guess Who

On the day that kicked off my summer, I had just finished writing summer goals with the crew and was on my way to bandit a half marathon for my first time and on a whim. This song was the last song I heard before I got out of my car immediately before running and as a result (as Matt and Katie can attest) this song was stuck in my head the whole 13.1 and 2+ hours of running. "No sugar tonight in my coffee, no sugar tonight in my tea. No sugar to stand besides me, no sugar to run with me." And that's how my summer started.

"Grillin' and Chillin'" by Sammy Kershaw

It seems like every summer there's a song someone in our crew plays ironically only to have it catch on and get played ironically until it almost becomes unironic. One year it was "Goin' Up the Country" by Canned Heat, and another year it was Kanye West's "Bound 2." Whatever song it is for a given summer, it always makes its way into some of the videos we shoot and frequently crops up throughout the summer. "Grillin' and Chillin'" rose to notoriety at our summer goals writing party that started with a grillin' and chillin' BBQ, and was inspired by the now-infamous Applebees commercial--and now it's become permanently entangled with my 2019 summer memories.

"Mrs. Robinson" by The Lemonheads

This cover came from when I went on a man date in Hollywood with one of my favorite guys, John Luna. Although the date got off to a rocky start with our BBQ place being closed in the afternoon for a few hours, the date really started when we got to Amoeba Music to get a random CD to be the soundtrack we'd listen to on our date. That random CD ended up being It's a Shame About Ray by The Lemonheads. I'd say there's roughly one quality song I legitimately enjoyed off the album. Take a guess which one it was.

"Dream Baby Dream" by Bruce Springsteen

For the first and only time on this list, this isn't a memory I'm going to share with you guys, but it is important. It did originally catch my attention in a nice scene in the movie American Honey, which I randomly watched with Lindsey. Gotta keep the fire burning. Dream baby dream.

"Ocean Man" by Ween

Okay this one is a little bit harder than the others to explain away. I think the craze started when I read a comment on Reddit where someone mentioned the song, listened to it and laughed, sent it to Dakota, and now a few months later we're still talking about it. Although it wasn't written for Spongebob The Movie, it was reasonably made famous recently by it and it doesn't entirely make sense--but then again, I guess what meme really does.

"Rivers and Roads" by The Head and the Heart

This song was (probably only in my mind) the theme song of our 47 mile excursion to bike the entirety of the Jordan Parkway Trail in one day. Importantly, the completely paved trail follows the entire Jordan River as it runs from Utah Lake to the Great Salt Lake and intersects with, at one point or another, basically every important road in Utah. I sung it out loud as we biked, now and then, and when I wasn't singing it, it was stuck in my head. Songs getting stuck in my head seems to be a reoccurring entry into this playlist, but the songs are also usually relevant in other some way, too, so...

"James Dean" by The Wrecks

My distinct memory for this song came while sitting in a plane in Alberta, Canada about to take off. When I heard the intro scream and the rocking, self-deprecating yet self-accepting lyrics, I felt a rise in my chest and I listened to it another 2-3 times after it ended. We can't all look like James Dean, but who cares? Also, a fun fact: one of my students recommended The Wrecks to me. Thanks, Hannah.

"Wasting Time (Eternal Summer)" by Four Year Strong (acoustic)

Here, Lindsey gets her own entry on this playlist since she's an important part of my summer. In a nice moment of flying down the highway to the airport to drop off Cam, this song came on and I immediately recognized it from my times of being friends with Dakota and seeing these guys at Warped Tour, even though I don't listen to these guys much at all.

"If It Feels Good (The it Must Be)," "River," and "Beyond" by Leon Bridges

With Dakota at the Hollywood Bowl, I saw Leon Bridges in concert and it was a big deal for me. In short, I loved it. Here I've got listed the opener, the closer, and the new song I didn't know beforehand that I fell in love with, which are all memorable in their own right.

"Because I'm Me" by The Avalanches

This song kept cropping up this summer and it all started with Dakota adding it to our four person roadtrip playlist "A Roadtrip Where We End Up Hating Each Other" as one of his 10 songs. He wanted to delete it to add something else while I happened to be listening to it, and I told him "no."

That brings us up to date, but the summer is only half over! Tune in sometime in August for the rest.

My 12 Favorite Movie Scenes of All Time

Before we get started, it should be noted this is clearly not a ranking of the best movie scenes of all time. I wouldn't even attempt to address something as vast as every scene in the entire universe of motion picture--something I having a casual, passing knowledge of but an enthusiastic interest in. If it wasn't clear enough from the title, these are my favorite movie scenes I've ever seen: perhaps the most memorable I've seen, perhaps the funniest, or perhaps the most entertaining or touching or inspirational.  

Looking back after making the list, I noticed I seem to have an affinity for long, stylistic takes and good usage of music, especially good music intros, and, of course, Robin Williams as an actor. Just a heads up for y'all at home. But also, many of these scenes, especially the music intro scenes, were moments when watching the movie for the first time where I thought, "Well alright, this is going to be a good movie." So here you go:

1. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 -- Yondu Arrow Killing Scene

As a character, Yondu is pretty complex and interesting; I was really excited when he got his own character arc in Guardians 2. Before this scene in the movie, he hits a low point in pretty much every way possible. But this is the moment where everything finally starts to change for him as a result of him getting his fin back. 

Marvel used this moment to show what an engaging miscreant Yondu is in all of his unrelenting, casual vengeance, while he executes dozens (hundreds?) of crew members who had a part in doing him wrong.  Not only does this scene show off Yondu's character as a ruthless ravager, but it does so while taking full advantage of slow-mo shots and general badassery as the bodies of his enemies fall all around him--all while a somehow fitting and ironically upbeat 1960's song blares throughout the spaceship. Man, if there's one trope in this movie I never got sick of, it's the use of music that the characters actually hear in the movie the same as we're hearing it in the theater, which magnifies the effect that we're actually experiencing something with the characters rather than just watching a movie with a good soundtrack.  

This scene is just incredibly well shot. The dozens of detailed and emotive slow motion deaths and the shower of bodies falling all around from the rafters is grisly, yet satisfying on behalf of Yondu and his vengeance. Of course, Yondu goes on to have two other incredible moments later in the film: the self sacrifice/Mary Poppins bit, and a touching space funeral scene that I almost also included in this list.

2. Good Will Hunting -- "You're just a kid"

For a man with one of the most prolific, renowned, and cherished acting careers of all time, Robin Williams's park bench scene might be his best scene of all time. At the very least, this scene is my favorite scene Robin Williams ever did. In an incredibly long one-shot monologue, his character, Sean Maguire, finally rips Will, the arrogant genius main character, a new one and calls him out on all his issues.

Armed with just the writing and Robin's performance, this scene kept me emotionally invested in his character's point for five straight minutes. In one long take, his character not only provides a deep conflict resolution opportunity for the two characters, but also reminds us that we as people are meant to experience life more than we are to be just being accumulators of knowledge. He stimulates our minds into exploring what the purposes of our own lives are, while sharing the purpose his own character has found as he symbolically opens up about his own tragic past to Matt Damon's closed off character. He makes us wish to be better as people and to be more open to others by addressing the problems of living a guarded life. And he does all this in one sitting, one take, and with no distractions from his performance. What a perfect scene.

Above all, though, my favorite point he makes is that our fellow people are by far more interesting, more important, and more worth caring about than anything else in the world. Nearly anything else, we can "read in some f***ing book." I've said it before, but I strongly believe it: our interactions with our fellow people are the most important things in this world. Maybe I subconsciously got that idea from this movie.

3. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World -- Amp vs Amp

In all honesty, my favorite scene from Scott Pilgrim is probably the opening credits scene where we get our first taste of Sex Bob-Omb and the stunning yet meaningful visual effects in this film. But for the sake of diversity and not wanting to put 10 different music intro scenes on this list, I went with a more visually important and entertaining fight scene later in the movie in which Sex Bob-Omb battles against the Katayanagi twins. You know, the scene where Edgar Wright literally redifines the meaning of the phrase "Battle of the Bands" in an amp vs amp showdown?  

In this scene, we finally see some development and determination from Scott as a character in his determination to date Ramona as he slams angrily on his bass guitar with new purpose. As a result, we get to watch a huge grunge rock behemoth metaphorically (right?) take on a pair of electric keyboard dragons. Without the perfectly fitting grunge music, or the comic book-like effects, or the monsters battling, or even simply the constant wind effects on the band members' faces, this scene would feel incomplete. Instead, it all comes together beautifully in what I consider by far the best of the 6 evil ex boss battles in this movie.

4. Superbad -- Intro/Opening Credits

My love for this scene is a lot less profound than many of the others on this list. I just love it because it's vibin'. What an excellent way to kick off a movie and tell the audience via a creative intro, "Yo, you're gonna love this movie." Although Superbad isn't one of my favorite movies of all time or anything, I do recall that for the first 45 minutes or so the first time I watched it, I was convinced it just might be a perfect movie until it kinda lost me in the second half. 

5. Big Fish -- "The story of my life"

Okay, I hate most Tim Burton films, but I ADORE Big Fish. Something really sets it apart from his other work. For me, it might simply be the fact that I am generally enthralled by simply listening to stories, and this movie is made up entirely of stories. Or it might be the optimistic, surreal, fantastical, enamoring, alluring love story Tim managed to put together with Ewan McGregor as his lead. Who knows?

This movie can be hard to interpret as it's layered with a lot of symbolism in the flashback storytelling. But one of my favorite ideas from the end of the movie is the dual theme of forgiveness and being there for your loved ones. The old man (Edward) wasn't there for his son (Will) the way he should have been. But as his father is on his death bed, Will forgives his him for all of his shortcomings and ultimately decides to be there in his time of need--not just physically, but emotionally, and in such an important way. In this scene, Will finally accepts his father for who he is after struggling with it all movie, and in doing so he provides his father with the words he needs to hear on his death bed. This scene tells us that forgiveness and kindness towards people who need it is far more important than past wrongdoings or any grudge we might hold against others. Combine that with a fanfare reprise of dozens of fantastic characters in a scene that blurs your vision on what in this movie is reality and what is fiction, and you've got something special.

6. Kingsmen -- Church Fight scene*

*Content warning: inappropriate slurs and incredibly graphic violence

A big part of how much I enjoy movies has to do with the expectation I have/have created going in. When I was going to see Kingsmen for the first time on the big screen, literally all I knew about it was that it was "a British spy movie" and that "it wasn't bad." Although all that is basically true, it turns out that Kingsmen is also so much more than that--as you can see from the clip above.  

What an absolute massacre. Although violence usually makes me uncomfortable and excessive gore makes me a little squeamish, I was absolutely floored--in a great way--while watching this violence unfold. Watching an impressively long take of Collin Firth absolutely decimating an entire church full of people in an all-out brawl on a huge screen while legendary rock "Freebird" solos blare in surround sound is not a feeling I'll soon forget. And that's all I have to say about that.

7. Baby Driver -- Coffee Run/Opening Credits

Another overly long take (160 seconds) with an incredible usage of great music selection that's played within the movie--and another Edgar Wright scene. So what else is new?

What I loved most about this scene is simply how much Ansel Elgort was just feeling the same music we were while watching in the theater. Watching Baby prance around the streets of Atlanta, lost in his own world, interacting with but not caring about the world around him--well, I feel like that while jamming to music just all too often. With a lot of the lyrics plastered on walls and trees and lamp posts, and movements and sound effects syncing up to the music? It's almost cheesy, but to me it feels way too fun and relatable for me to anything but love this scene. Not to mention, every time I watch it, I find something new that I like about it that I had missed previously; it's just kinda magic that way.

8. La La Land -- Griffith Observatory Scene

It's pure bliss; it's pure fiction; it's pure impossibility. It's overly romantic and idealistic. It's completely beautiful.

This scene is basically our first real chance to fall in love with the music from La La Land and with Mia and Sebastian as a couple. Although the love story is cute and nice, I've always more liked what this movie says about potential and dream chasing. I know plenty of people who hate it for what I like about it, but I left the debate as to whether it's a good movie back in 2016 when I decided I personally really enjoy it. Here at the iconic Griffith Observatory, the stars and musical motifs (yes, I know this is a musical, but it's also about jazz) hit their stride and show off in a stunning, dance-among-the-stars fantasy and it speaks to my soul.

9. A Knight's Tale -- Chaucer's Introduction

I once memorized this monologue for a party back in my Jr. High days because I liked it so much, and I am generally not good at memorizing things. I think that'll suffice.

10. Ferris Bueller's Day Off -- Opening Monologue

It's hard to remember that when we all watched this scene for the first time, we didn't have any idea who Ferris Bueller was as a character or that he's actually faking being sick to get out of school--until he sits up and iconically drops the line: "They bought it." Two minutes in and things are already starting to shape up into a great movie--starting with a character establishing monologue while Ferris casually goes about his day getting ready for his day off and describing his systematic method of faking sick, all while dropping quotable nuggets of wisdom along the way. He also does a bang up job of casually reminding us of what it's like to live life as a teenager without responsibility and with a desire to stick it to the man at every turn--not to mention the narrow scope of teenage self-importance. All this in just under about 160 seconds.

11. Nacho Libre -- Nacho fights Ramses

I watched Nacho Libre for the first time as an adult the other day and I was floored by how I missed the meaning of this scene as a teenager.

To be fair, I don't actually care much about this scene or the fight until the moment Ramses has his foot on Nacho's neck (2:27 in the video) and Sister Encarnación walks in with the orphans to finally support him in living his dream. The next two minutes is where the entire plot of the movie actually ends up mattering and the film ceases to just be about a guy working to live out his dream as a luchador. This moment is where the movie really becomes about finding strength in doing things for others and the importance of helping others in need. See, his whole career, Nacho has a strong desire to wrestle, but he is such a stinky warrior. But once he decides that he'll wrestle for the kids, and not for the fancy lotions and fame for himself, his magical eagle powers activate and he's somehow able to beat the best wrestler in the region (or maybe the whole world???). And, of course, it's not to be forgotten that the sister finally supports him in his cause and brings the orphans along to the wrestling match.

Yeah, of course the idea is corny as heck and the concept isn't new or profound, but with these real and characters that you inevitably grow attached to throughout the course of the film--and the lovable man that is Jack Black as a Mexican wrestler--I absolutely adore this scene. Add in the concept of the greater powers of fate and/or God allowing all these things to happen the way they do for the bettering of the world and the lives of poor Mexican orphans, and you've got a potentially happy tear-jerking end to a fun movie.

12. Dead Poet's Society -- "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute"

Both as a mathematician and as a teacher, I value this scene now more than ever. But the first time I saw it was in my 11th grade English class as I was in the process of considering what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. What is the purpose of life? How should I spend my time here on earth? Why am I even stuck here at school for 8 hours a day anyways? I didn't have the real answers to these questions, but I did find this scene stimulating potential answers and forming ideas in my brain while the film offered me a sobering and inspiring perspective on the matters at hand.

It's easy to say that this movie is just about an unrealistic, eccentric teacher with some generic, overly idealistic methods, armed with trite phrases. But don't forget, likely the reason "carpe diem" is a household phrase might very well be because of Dead Poet's Society's Academy Award winning screenplay and Robin Williams's inspiring role in bringing it to life.

Discovering The Importance of Saying Goodbye

I think I'm pretty good at controlling my thoughts and emotions. It came from practice, I'm sure--I grew up in a religion that unabashedly teaches its members to suppress "wrong" thoughts starting at a very, very young age. Now I could write a whole essay on whether I think systematically suppressing thoughts that an institution tells you to is a good practice (spoiler: I think you should always be skeptical of any group trying to control your thoughts/telling you to control your thoughts, but I do think the church is mostly well-intentioned), but I'll be brief on this topic because there's more I want to get to than just talking about censoring thoughts.

But before I move on, let's be real. Being able to control your thoughts and push out unwanted, wrong, inappropriate, or depressing ones could give you some much-needed stability in today's anxiety-ridden world. In some ways, it's a gift. At the same time, though, it's not an uncommon criticism to say Mormons are too often unhealthily repressive with their thoughts and aren't always consciously acknowledging, coping with, and suppressing intrusive thoughts in a way that modern psychology would say is healthy. This isn't me criticizing the church or it's practices at all--I'll leave that to the professionals. The real reason I bring this up at all is because this practice of repressing and/or suppressing thoughts shaped how I thought as a young child and as an adolescent--and it left a lasting impression on how still I think as an adult.

As an adolescent, being raised in the church led me to believe I had a lot of things figured out in life at a young age that I just simply didn't. Part of it came from believing Mormon doctrine, and part of it came from just being a dumb teenager who thought, generically enough, that I knew everything and couldn't be wrong. But that's not even necessarily what I'm talking about, though. I'd more like to discuss how common it was for me to purposely disagree with conventional human wisdom, partially because of teenage arrogance, but also partially because of self-policing my thoughts.

Life as a know-it-all teenager, circa 2011.

For example, I used to be certain I knew what my purpose was in life. I knew answers to big questions about what happens when we die or if we existed before we were born, so I never bothered to entertain those thoughts any further. I had a solid system for making tough, life-changing decisions (see: personal revelation for Mormons). I used to think I was a pretty cool kid, that people who didn't agree with my taste in music were factually wrong, and that death was insignificant. I had a disdain for strong emotions, sometimes struggled to be empathetic, thought sentimentality was overrated, didn't trust people, and I thought that saying goodbye to people and things wasn't important because, worst case scenario, we'd meet again when everything is sorted out in the next life anyways. In a pretty real way, believing in an afterlife can sometimes lead you to hold less value in your current life.

Here's where I'd like to admit I was wrong. About plenty of things, sure, but specifically about the importance of saying goodbye to people. Or saying goodbye to relationships, or to places or to things that are important to us. Back then (and even somewhat recently, I'll admit), I would sometimes purposely and sometimes accidentally unceremoniously forgo saying goodbye to people or situations I'd never see again. To cope with the idea, I just thought, "Oh well, I'll just move on and not think about it." That's it. That's all it took. I was alarmingly fast at moving on from things or people because I didn't value the sentimentality like I should have. In an effort to be a pragmatist, I was basically just being a dick.

Taking time to say goodbye properly is so, so important. Saying goodbye gives finality and closure that is impossible to find anywhere else, especially compared to my old mentally of just "deciding to move on." It gives you a chance to say those last important things that are on your mind, to close the mental chapter in your head, and to tie together the loose ends of your heart strings. Even if you left important things unsaid or still feel strong, unsettled emotions about the goodbye, at least you had a chance to express yourself in a very real moment. Conversations in which we say goodbye with finality are often filled with words people need to hear; a final word or goodbye could (and should) alter the way you remember each other.

Even from a psychological standpoint, getting closure is scientifically important. In a series of interactions and memories, you're most likely to remember your first and last the best (let alone the excitement and trauma of meeting someone and breaking up, respectively). But science aside, your last interaction with another person is so important because human to human interactions are literally the most important things in this world. Go ahead and name something more important than friendship, love, family. Sure, some things are important, but I'm thinking of the words of John Keating:

"Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

It's fascinating that love can traverse space, time, and death. That always seemed like an exaggeration to me, but think about what love is. If love is largely a feeling that really exists somewhere in your literal head or metaphorical heart, and if it exists regardless of if that person is present or not, alive or not...Then love truly does transcend even the most harsh of barriers. And when you skip out on saying goodbye or ending things properly, you're likely skewing the love you remember in the wrong direction by not providing an opportunity it's due finality.

This is truly what makes unexpected death so devastating--as if death, a forced goodbye, wasn't devastating enough. Not having the time to mentally prepare yourself for a final interaction or not having the chance to say goodbye can taint a memory for a lifetime. Suddenly it makes sense that most every human to ever live and die was buried and given a proper sendoff, a funeral and paying respects. It's weird for me to think that in reality, a funeral isn't nearly as much for the person who died as much as it's for the people who care about you that survive you. It's their last chance to really say goodbye.

Even if there is a next world and you believe in it, I think we should all live like there isn't. We should live like our finite time on the earth is all we get and we shouldn't leave important things unsaid, loose ends untied. We should express love always and we should properly express a goodbye when it's needed.

When I was a teenager, I was told this but I didn't see the value in it like I do now. In fact, I remember reading in one of my all time favorite books, Life of Pi:

“I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.”

Whether it's throwing my marathon shoes on a powerline to retire them, or not ghosting the girl I met that things aren't going to work out with, or getting a moment to say goodbye to my best friend's dad who's dying from cancer, or having that one last, tough conversation with the person I'm breaking up with, I need to express compassion and care in the last moments I'm given--and I hope you will, too. Every day all around the world, there's thousands of people who didn't even know they were saying goodbye for the last time, and what a tragedy it is for us to forgo our own opportunity simply because we don't want to expend the emotional energy, or because our anxiety over important human interaction seems like it's too much to bear, or because of some other subpar reasoning.

I suppose most of you already understood this idea better than I did, but I'm glad I learned it late rather than never.

The end of Life of Pi, the movie.

2018 Year in Review

Looking back, I'm actively trying to decide if 2018 was a good year for me. Because I'm constantly setting goals (daily, weekly, summer, yearly, etc.), checking my goal progress is a great way to gauge to what degree I achieved what I set out to this year. Of course, I accomplished or experienced a lot of things that I didn't especially set out to do this year as well and a lot of those experiences were incredibly fulfilling. In short, here's here's a list of some things I did this year:

• Got a job as a substitute teacher, tutor, and eventually a full-time high school math teacher. Working as a high school math teacher has been my dream for about 6 years now and I'm really glad I was finally able to get to this point. Also in tutoring, I learned everything there is to possibly know about taking the ACT and getting kids ready to take it.

• Ran my first marathon since my December 2016 ACL reconstruction. This is a big deal to me. Besides the ACL repair about 2 years ago, they also took out a majority of my medial meniscus in my right knee, which means the cushioning and shock absorption in my right knee will be hindered for the rest of my life. On average, full ACL surgery recovery and strengthening can take about 24 months. I started training for a marathon around 18 months post-surgery. I was really happy to be able to run a marathon again and not have my knee prevent me from doing it. In fact, my left knee was the sore one at the end of the day, which is interesting.

Top of Utah Marathon (September 2018)

• Became a cross country and girl's basketball coach. Quite honestly, I hardly felt qualified to coach high school athletes in something I'd never coached or even experienced as an athlete before, but here I am. With no advice or training or assistant coaches, I just started showing up to cross country practice one day in the summer and pretended like I knew what I was doing. Boy, did I learn a LOT this year about these sports, about myself, and about my kids from my experience coaching. Coaching also took up an insane amount of my free time, for what it's worth, but I was happy to have the experience.

Cross country team in Moab, UT (September 2018)

• Started this blog for real. It existed before this year, but 2018 is where I really got it on track to be a good medium for me to express myself in writing. Honestly, I don't post on it a ton--most weeks of teaching, I feel like I hardly have time to write save for a weekend or when we're on break from school. But the writing I have had time to do has been really fulfilling.

• Travelled to New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Louisiana for the first time. New Orleans is an incredibly fascinating and unique city (to say the least), Gettysburg is a inspiring place, and I learned the people in New Jersey on average just aren't very attractive. But seeing Streetlight Manifesto play in their hometown of Toms River, NJ in front of a huge crowd was a ton of fun.  I also managed to find my way to an Aquabats concert in LA, Arches National Park in southern Utah, the Pac-12 Championship in San Francisco, and the Holiday Bowl in San Diego to watch the Utes play.

As you can see, I was very excited to see the Liberty Bell in person (May 2018)

• Received my diploma and walked at graduation. It's nice for it to finally be official and to finally have the diploma in my hands--I got a Bachelor's degree in mathematics with a minor in physics. It's pretty official now, or whatever, as you can see from my sister's snapchat below.

Diploma day (May 2018)

• Bought my first car, outright and on my own. It's a crappy 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee, but it runs. I can't remember exactly how the conversation went, but my sister and I decided to name it "The Burgermobile" despite it not even somewhat resembling a sandwich. I also moved out of my parents house for the first time since 2015, for what it's worth, since I guess that's what adults do these days.

• A few things I didn't set out to do but ended up happening: I got really good at Rocket League, watched a lot of Trailer Park Boys, played a lot of Pokemon Go (including finally finishing off my original 150 Pokedex), went to the arcade with friends like 20 times, practiced skateboarding and learned to ollie consistently while riding on pavement, and participated in two 24-hour gaming parties. One of them was a charity event organized by my cousin and we managed to raise a decent amount of money to donate to some sort of mental health organization I can't remember (I was there for the video games, okay???).

• Went on an awesome 9-day Disney World/Universal Studios trip in Florida with my siblings and shot a fun travel video.

The fam in front of the Tree of Life inside Animal Kingdom (March 2018)

• Went Skydiving! It took some trickery to get all my friends there at the same time and I had to plan the trip way out to Tooele for us all since nobody else would do it, but it was worth it. And the actual experience of jumping out of a plane itself? It was nuts--and really hard to put into words. Maybe I'll write about it sometime.

Skydiving with the crew (August 2018)

• Kept up yearly traditions with my friends including St. Patrick's Day, Tanksgiving, Summer goals, the dart board game, and a fantasy football banquet. In thinking about it, my friends and I actually have quite a few yearly traditions and we really did do a good job keeping them up this year. In addition, I also had a great birthday involving just a game of baseball with my friends and family--which became one of my favorite birthday memories to date.

Birthday Baseball game with family and friends. I didn't even strike out! (September 2018)

• Started a mediocre podcast with my best friend Dakota. I think a handful of people actually enjoyed listening to it, but more than anything, we had a ton of fun making it. We really love talking about ourselves and answering questions, as it turns out.

All those things considered, I think I'd call 2018 eventful if not successful. Overall I'd give it a 4/5 stars

⭐⭐⭐⭐⚬

But now looking forward instead, I think it's time to start thinking of what kinds of things I expect to accomplish in 2019. Here's my brainstorming list, though I'm sure the year won't go exactly as I planned:

1.  I've got a life goal to teach abroad sometime. At this young age and early in my career, now would be a great time to start looking into that. If nothing else, I expect to travel out of the country for the first time this upcoming year.
2. Travel to a new state. 31 down, 19 to go!
3. I need to read more books. I honestly love reading, but rarely feel like I have the time.
4. Cut back on all social media and go outside more. Consider getting rid of my smartphone altogether.
5. Practice/learn guitar.
6. Write/start writing a book.
7. Shift weight training and distance running training to instead focus on triathlon training.
8. Run across the state of Utah. By my estimate, this should take about 60 days to complete.

There's so many things I want to do and a year is so little time to do it. There's certainly more I'd like to accomplish in a year, but what with sleeping 8 hours a day and working 40+ hours a week and all the other hobbies I pursue, these 8 things are a pretty reasonable set of self improvements to focus on. Like, reading a book a month is so easy. But reading a book a month when you're training for a marathon, working overtime, keeping up a writing blog, and coaching girls basketball for 2 hours a day while learning the guitar and balancing a dating life plus trying to find time for yourself to relax? That's the real reason why I'm pretty content with the progress I made in 2018. I feel like I worked incredibly hard consistently every single month of the year and I was always pursuing some sort of improvement every day. It wasn't perfect, but if I keep improving like I did in 2018, I think I'll continue to be happy.

7 Songs You Probably Haven't Heard Before That I'll Totally Vouch For

I'll try to keep the suggestions obscure, illustrative, and brief. If you're looking for good, new music, you might like getting into some of these bands; others on the list might be total a dead-ends. But here's some songs by local and/or lesser known artists that I'll totally vouch for:

1. The Heirs - "What You Want" (2016, Electro-pop)



In 2016, my brother and I drove up to Boise, Idaho in his janky car just to complete our summer goal to go to Warped Tour (since we missed the Salt Lake City stop of the tour). While we were in line to get into the show, a poster for The Heirs caught my eye and I kinda liked the way it looked. "You know what? If there's literally no other band I want to see when they're on the stage, maybe I'll stop by." As you might have guessed, there was no other good bands playing during that random afternoon slot, so we stopped by to see them.

In short, they were not that good. They came across as one of those local bands who was just grateful to be given a shot to play at Warped Tour--which is probably because they were a local band who was just grateful to be given a shot to play at Warped Tour. After standing through a mostly-dull lineup, right at the end of their set The Heirs floored me with this electro-pop anthem. I won't speak too much to describing the sound of the song; I'll let you experience it yourself. But you can imagine how good this might have sounded in context. Not to mention, "What You Want" still only has 7,000 views on YouTube (half of them are probably me) and this song isn't even playable on Spotify. Talk about a hipster song to add to your repertoire.


2. Tarot Death Card - "Tell Me When It Hurts" (2017, Indietronica Trip Pop)



I actually have no idea how I found this song. But the story, I suppose, begins with the girl I had a crush on back in 7th grade named Chloe. She was a tall, gorgeous, red-headed 8th grader on the volleyball team and I was a weird band kid who sometimes wore a cape to school, sold gum balls to kids at lunch for a nickel, and filmed goofy videos with friends. Needless to say, it didn't work out. But! My then-crush went on to start Tarot Death Card--and now they've got about half a dozen songs on Spotify. I don't know if they're still progressing as a band or not, but I still think they're worth talking about just because of this song.

I'll admit, their trip pop style isn't really the kind of stuff I normally listen to, and when I was checking them out, I wasn't sure I really liked them--until I heard "Tell Me When It Hurts." Chloe's vocals finally pop to the front of the track (where they probably belong) and her vocal/lyric performance carries the song as a whole. Something about the slow, melodic vocals draws me in like a siren song--the vocal track on "Tell Me When It Hurts" is completely captivating and entrancing. It's got less than a thousand plays on Spotify, but I might single-handedly get it to that mark someday with how often it pops up on random on my playlists.


3. Ozma - "Restart" (2003, Indie Pop/Alt Rock)



Something about this song I absolutely adore. Startlingly, it starts by describing a fairly depressing situation of a man stuck in a cubicle all day who has an intrusive thought of throwing himself off the roof one day during work, but he decides the better of it. He then moves on from it and muses over life and love in a relatable but confounding manner. But the real reason I love this song so much is absolutely the melody. I can't really describe how, but it speaks to my soul. I love every bit of sound Ozma recorded on this track, with a particular soft spot for the organ part, background guitar, and chorus vocals. These guys really should have gotten so much bigger than they ever did.


4. Tally Hall Feat. Casey Shea - "Club Can't Handle Me (cover)" (2011, Indie Pop/Alt Rock)



Let's be real, Tally Hall had no business covering this song--which is what makes it so good. They're a tiny band I wish still existed who (optimistically speaking) made a living off recording goofy songs and filming a goofy internet show.  On the other hand, Flo Rida was one of the hottest "artists" of my high school career (2008-2010) and the original "Club Can't Handle Me" was a chart-topping, million-dollar banger back in 2010. But, the original song is a steaming pile of shit, whereas Tally Hall's ironic cover featuring random tour buddy Casey Shea is every bit of fun the original song, by nature, could not have been. In the breakdown, they even talk about showing the recording to Flo Rida himself (I imagine this was fabricated, but who knows) and he totally hated their new cover. I suggest giving it a whirl, obviously.


5. Five Iron Frenzy - "Wizard Needs Food, Badly" (2003, Ska)



For any ska band that isn't The Aquabats, Streetlight Manifesto, Reel Big Fish, or Suburban Legends, there's a decent chance I discovered them by some sort of random autoplay feature online (YouTube, Spotify, Pandora, etc). Because I listen to a decent amount of music online, if that wasn't obvious. Now I don't recall which autoplay introduced me to this strangely hit and miss Christian ska band, Five Iron Frenzy, but I'm glad it did.

At that, "Wizard Needs Food, Badly" is one of their momentous hits. On more than one occasion I've had this tune stuck in my head all day and was disappointed to find it isn't even on Spotify. But besides the Gauntlet gimmick the song is based on and the muted horns that interestingly round out a great overall melody, the reason this song works, in my mind, is because of the lyrical theme. The song is basically about having girlfriend troubles on account of being a big nerd; he likes video games, TV, baseball, and motorcycles--and she's not having ant part of it ("You say 'tomato,' I say 'video games'"). It's hard to say who's at fault here since he seems to love his hobbies too much and she just hates everything he does, but I love the concept. I imagine that relationship didn't last too much longer, but I'm glad this song made it out alive. Oh, and if you like their ska sound, I highly recommend their cover of It's Not Unusual or one of their two originals Far, Far Away (which is very Christian) or Oh, Canada (which is very Canadian). As I said, they're really hit and miss. You're probably not gonna find a solid album by these guys, but they definitely hit gold with their sound here and there.


6. Limbeck - "Honk+Wave" (2003, Alt Rock)



Okay, I know nothing about this band. But I do know that whenever I listen to "Honk+Wave" it puts me in an introspective, reflective mood despite the generally upbeat sound. The song is about a guy, probably from California (you can tell he's not from Utah because he calls I-15 'the 15'), who gets his heart broken by a girl from Utah. The lyrics are essentially that guy thinking out loud, trying to figure out what he wants out of his old breakup--he's not ready to totally burn the bridge because they were so close and they were in love once. He doesn't necessarily want anything from her now, but it's been 4 years and he still isn't totally over her. His thought? "Hey, it'd be nice if ever we passed each other on I-15 that we could at least honk and wave at each other." I've thought about this myself in a different way--I'm not on excellent terms with all my ex's, but every single one of them I loved in some way in the past. At minimum, I'd hope if I saw them one day at the grocery store, we'd at least stop and talk to catch up and have it not be awkward, rather than pretend we didn't see each other (which I do to 80% of the people I went to high school with). Man, this song can get you thinking.


7. The Pietasters - "Can I Change My Mind" (1995, Ska)



For my last song, I was having a tough time deciding between "Can I Change My Mind" and another Pietasters hit, Out All Night, which is much more popular. In fact, despite The Pietasters being an incredibly underrated ska band, "Out All Night" has nearly 1.7 million plays on Spotify (about 7 times more than their next most played song), probably because it was a standout from the 2006 NCAA Football PS2 soundtrack. Honestly, "Can I Change My Mind" isn't the better song of the two, but I still enjoy it immensely and for an entirely different reasons than why I like "Out All Night."

Although "Can I Change My Mind" is great if you're looking for a song that you can identify with after leaving a girl who didn't even seem to care you were leaving (who hasn't done that, right?), the lyrics aren't what I find most appealing about this song (unlike most of the other songs on this list). Instead, I find the instrumentation to be more compelling than anything. I really love the beautiful organ intro, the chill/optimistic reggae backbeat, the short yet infectiously perfect piano riff, the horn solos... It might not be your jam if you have something against reggae or ska, but it definitely vibes with me.



Honorable Mentions

If you're looking for more suggestions that fit this same kind of musical niche:
-"Mixtapes" by The Nonce (Hip Hop, 1994)
-"Down by da Beach, Boieee!!" by Super Hero (Ska, 2016)
-"Waiting for the Sunset" by The Planet Smashers (Ska, 2014)
-"It's a Wonderful Life" by BOTAR (Classical/Acoustic + Ska, 2001)
-"Waterslide" by The Bonedaddys (Party Chill Rock, 2007)
-"Shoot out the Lights" by Mad Caddies (Reggae, 2014)